May 1, 2022 / Alexandra Evans

God made light and we made shadow that first moment we turned our heads away.
It mattered not that it was a push. Spite is light that got its teeth knocked out. Still bright and holy, iron in mouth. Wrath is a Godly trait, don’t you know? I am getting angrier at each seed you’ve sown. I am in awe of beings that have both spine and sword. If the meek want the Earth, let them have it. Lord knows it would neither be a fair fight nor a fun one. As for me, I am less lamb and more bug. Wide-eyed, eager to sting, ready to run. When you cast me aside, I thought of Icarus, falling from the sun. If that star exploded, it would take eight seconds to reach us. Even something eternal is not something instant. Who knows how much ache can occur with just eight seconds?

All this to say, I’m coming back to (for) you. People think forgiveness and mercy flow from the same vein. God may absolve you, but that’s God’s domain. I learned how to navigate your depraved, constant night. Imagine what I can do in all this dazzling light. Revenge and righteousness, only distinguishable by how hard one bites. What is faith anyway, but two hands in the peril of paradox pulling out praise and wine? 

by: Alex Evans

videographer: Maddie Abdalla

layout: Jennifer Jimenez & Adriana Torres

photographer: Alyssa Olvera

stylist: Alex Cao

hmua: Jane Lee

model: Laurence Nguyen-Thai

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